Nothing is sexier than a man who takes care of his baby (or babies). It's beautiful and it makes him special.
I'm not just talking about money here. It's great when a man works for his family; I would never undermine how important money is in raising children. They can't grow off air and water. They need all kinds of things to keep them healthy and strong...
Unfortunately, I have discovered in my old age (ha!) that some men have no clue about this and have no intention of caring one way or another. Where are the men who will sit down and feed their babies, change their diapers, and play endless games of "horsie" with them? Where are the men who take their little girls out for "Daddy Dates" to teach them how they are supposed to be treated and how to treat others? Doors opened. Dinner. Conversation where ideas are EXCHANGED. Where are the men who take their little boys out for "Men's Time" to teach them how they are supposed to relate to life AND how to treat others?
If more men spent time doing that for their little girls and boys I think there would be less little girls thinking the way to a boy's heart is to have her booty hanging out of her latest, tight outfit. And more little boys who know how to be gentlemen in any situation.
I think it's true a girl's first love is her daddy. Or it can be. If he's in the picture, he makes a huge impact on how she relates to other people, especially men. If he's not in the picture, she may spend her whole life wondering how the man in her life really sees her and if he's planning to leave her; almost expecting him to leave. This can make her either desperate to keep him or so detached that she doesn't care either way and acts accordingly (this can make for a scary, LONELY lady).
I knew exactly the type of father I wanted for my daughter. He would be the type to take over her care at any given time. He would be the type to give her his heart if he thought she needed it. A stern, but loving father who takes the time to talk to his daughter and take her ideas and thoughts seriously.
Bill Cosby? Nah. Cliff Huxtable? Yeppers. lol.
Am I alone here? Who else envied the hell out of the Huxtable kids? And if you could make up a wish-list of the type of dad (or mom) your kids could have...what qualities would this person possess?
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Mama Know: Praying Mama
My mama was a praying mama. I remember mornings going into mama's room; usually to ask a question about something I already knew or could easily find out myself, but just HAD to ask Mama because it was easier.
Opening the door and peeking my head in usually found mama near her closet picking out clothes for the day or even sitting on the bed watching TV. However, many mornings I found her kneeling by the side of her bed with her head bowed. I was never sure if she realized I'd walked in on her at that moment, but I always knew not to say a word because we were taught to respect conversations with God.
My lil sister and I were what we referred to as "church kids". Mama had us in church up to three or four times per week for whatever. Girl Scouts, usher board...services...you name it; if there was a service, or one of the limited activities for the youth, we were there.
I've only stepped foot inside of a church for a service one time this year: for my mama's funeral.
Some people would not understand what turns me off from going to church, but I was never comfortable even as a child. I had too many run-ins with nastiness and hypocrisy; and the adults were even worse. I loved music, and although I attended a church with one of the best choirs around with voices straight from heaven...the people behind the voices were often unfriendly and nasty. Being a part of the choir was out of the question. My already low self-esteem would have taken brutal beatings constantly. Yea, even as a child. There was no environment of encouragement where I attended church during my youth. I wasn't a member of the right family and they weren't letting anyone in not related by blood or some other unseen element that I never possessed.
I am no longer angry or bitter over my "church girl" childhood, but as a grown-up, I cringe at the thought of putting my own daughter through it. She's a friendly, happy baby and I know she's going to encounter issues because that's a part of life, but if I can spare her the sort of hurt I experienced during my childhood (many more besides just that as a "church girl")...Then that's my goal.
I will always love gospel music and the peace I feel inside the walls (away from many of the people) during a good church service; even though I'm not 100% in agreement with many of the teachings.
My knees ache from bending so much lately because I'm not only a Praying Woman...I'm also a a Praying Mama like my mama was. I hope I'm the type of mama to teach my daughter about God's love; it's unconditional and complete without judgment or hatred. This can be done through actions. If by chance my daughter gets up to size and indicates that she wants to try attending a church, I will encourage her and even go with her; however, at this point, I don't see myself raising her as a "church girl" per se. I want her to be around a variety of people of a variety of faiths...
Prayer was my mama's peace and mine as well. She had a tough life, but her faith inspired all who came into contact with her. Even though I'm not one to attend church on a regular basis, I do have a relationship with God. One that's as unique as I am and maybe even a little controversial for some:
I consider myself a Pagan Christian. Not very common, and I hate labels, but this one fits me at this time. Yea, I may evolve or change, but it is what it is right now.
Do you attend church regularly? Even as a child? What is your fondest memory or experience with faith?
Opening the door and peeking my head in usually found mama near her closet picking out clothes for the day or even sitting on the bed watching TV. However, many mornings I found her kneeling by the side of her bed with her head bowed. I was never sure if she realized I'd walked in on her at that moment, but I always knew not to say a word because we were taught to respect conversations with God.
My lil sister and I were what we referred to as "church kids". Mama had us in church up to three or four times per week for whatever. Girl Scouts, usher board...services...you name it; if there was a service, or one of the limited activities for the youth, we were there.
I've only stepped foot inside of a church for a service one time this year: for my mama's funeral.
Some people would not understand what turns me off from going to church, but I was never comfortable even as a child. I had too many run-ins with nastiness and hypocrisy; and the adults were even worse. I loved music, and although I attended a church with one of the best choirs around with voices straight from heaven...the people behind the voices were often unfriendly and nasty. Being a part of the choir was out of the question. My already low self-esteem would have taken brutal beatings constantly. Yea, even as a child. There was no environment of encouragement where I attended church during my youth. I wasn't a member of the right family and they weren't letting anyone in not related by blood or some other unseen element that I never possessed.
I am no longer angry or bitter over my "church girl" childhood, but as a grown-up, I cringe at the thought of putting my own daughter through it. She's a friendly, happy baby and I know she's going to encounter issues because that's a part of life, but if I can spare her the sort of hurt I experienced during my childhood (many more besides just that as a "church girl")...Then that's my goal.
I will always love gospel music and the peace I feel inside the walls (away from many of the people) during a good church service; even though I'm not 100% in agreement with many of the teachings.
My knees ache from bending so much lately because I'm not only a Praying Woman...I'm also a a Praying Mama like my mama was. I hope I'm the type of mama to teach my daughter about God's love; it's unconditional and complete without judgment or hatred. This can be done through actions. If by chance my daughter gets up to size and indicates that she wants to try attending a church, I will encourage her and even go with her; however, at this point, I don't see myself raising her as a "church girl" per se. I want her to be around a variety of people of a variety of faiths...
Prayer was my mama's peace and mine as well. She had a tough life, but her faith inspired all who came into contact with her. Even though I'm not one to attend church on a regular basis, I do have a relationship with God. One that's as unique as I am and maybe even a little controversial for some:
I consider myself a Pagan Christian. Not very common, and I hate labels, but this one fits me at this time. Yea, I may evolve or change, but it is what it is right now.
Do you attend church regularly? Even as a child? What is your fondest memory or experience with faith?
Friday, November 19, 2010
Sistahknow's Introduction
When I first signed up for this blog, I had no idea what I wanted to say or how I was going to say it. My life is at a crossroads right now and I have so much going on, but nothing at the same time and would love to reach out to others in the same situation or even as a precautionary tale to those nowhere near where I am.
Let me give you the basics:
Gender: Female; Age: 34; Race: Black/African-American; Height: 5'10; Weight: 285 (weren't expecting THAT kind of honesty, huh? Keep reading.)...
2010 has been a year of major changes in my life. My first (and only) child was born in January (a girl), I lost my job in March (never even got off maternity leave), lost my mom in August, moved into a new apartment in August...had no idea what this would do to my morale and self-esteem. Other things have happened, but these are the major hitters for this year.
I'm going to organize my thoughts by titling my blogs according to my subject matters. That way if you are not interested in reading about my natural hair drama (been naturally curly for more than ten years), then you can skip that blog and go to my "new mommy" blog. Or if you are in the mood to read into my sometimes twisted mind...feel free to just go to my general blog about any-and-everything through my eyes.
Titles:
"Sistah Know" - This will be the title of my main blog. NO telling what's going to be in here.
"Mama Know" - These will cover my adventures into motherhood. My daughter is a little character and I look forward to sharing her quirky little ways...and my raising of this special little person.
"Know Nappy" - Hair blogs. My goal is to grow my and my daughter's natural hair as healthy and long as possible. With all that's going on in my life right now...I need something to strive for that I can control. My hair is one of them. A small thing to some, but I've never been able to grow my hair past my shoulders. I'm aiming for my booty! lol.
"Know-Know" - This heading will be used to write about my professional life. Yes, I am currently unemployed, but I own my own business (partnership with lil sis). This is where I will blog about my struggles in the world of "the unemployed" AND the "self-employed". Being unemployed sucks and those who are in here with me can attest to that, but there is a joy and excitement in owning my own business. Watching this grow from its infancy will be fun...and I hope...a GREAT SUCCESS STORY.
Ok. This is the first blog entry. We'll see what else I can come up with as time goes on. I have hopes that one day, hopefully not too far away from today, I will look back at these posts and marvel at how far I've come.
Let me give you the basics:
Gender: Female; Age: 34; Race: Black/African-American; Height: 5'10; Weight: 285 (weren't expecting THAT kind of honesty, huh? Keep reading.)...
2010 has been a year of major changes in my life. My first (and only) child was born in January (a girl), I lost my job in March (never even got off maternity leave), lost my mom in August, moved into a new apartment in August...had no idea what this would do to my morale and self-esteem. Other things have happened, but these are the major hitters for this year.
I'm going to organize my thoughts by titling my blogs according to my subject matters. That way if you are not interested in reading about my natural hair drama (been naturally curly for more than ten years), then you can skip that blog and go to my "new mommy" blog. Or if you are in the mood to read into my sometimes twisted mind...feel free to just go to my general blog about any-and-everything through my eyes.
Titles:
"Sistah Know" - This will be the title of my main blog. NO telling what's going to be in here.
"Mama Know" - These will cover my adventures into motherhood. My daughter is a little character and I look forward to sharing her quirky little ways...and my raising of this special little person.
"Know Nappy" - Hair blogs. My goal is to grow my and my daughter's natural hair as healthy and long as possible. With all that's going on in my life right now...I need something to strive for that I can control. My hair is one of them. A small thing to some, but I've never been able to grow my hair past my shoulders. I'm aiming for my booty! lol.
"Know-Know" - This heading will be used to write about my professional life. Yes, I am currently unemployed, but I own my own business (partnership with lil sis). This is where I will blog about my struggles in the world of "the unemployed" AND the "self-employed". Being unemployed sucks and those who are in here with me can attest to that, but there is a joy and excitement in owning my own business. Watching this grow from its infancy will be fun...and I hope...a GREAT SUCCESS STORY.
Ok. This is the first blog entry. We'll see what else I can come up with as time goes on. I have hopes that one day, hopefully not too far away from today, I will look back at these posts and marvel at how far I've come.
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